Sometimes just sometimes we can’t resist the temptation to post the most idiotic messages we receive in our inbox. Such is the case with the email from Capt. Rich
Capt Rich Thompson <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Message From Capt Rich
April 23, 2009 12:12:31 PM CDT
My name is Captain Rich Thompson, I am an American soldier in peace keeping force in Iraq, I am serving in the military of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, as you know insurgents everyday and car bombs are attacking us.
We managed to move funds belonging to Saddam Hussein’s family. The otal amount is S$10,570,000 in cash. We want to move this money to you, so that you may keep our share for us till when we will come over to meet you in your country. Me and my partners will take 70%. while You take 30%. No strings attached, just help us move it out of Iraq, Iraq is a war zone as you know.We plan on using diplomatic courier in shipping the money out in a large silver
box, using diplomatic immunity.
If you are interested I will send you the full details, my job is to find a good partner that we can trust and that will assist us. Can I trust you? When you receive this letter, kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone/fax numbers for quick communication also your contact details. This business is risk free. The box can be shipped out in 48hrs depending on our agreement. Contact me via my private box: email@example.com so that I can furnish you with more details
Captain Rich Thompson
Our email response to Capt Rich.
Dear USMC Officer Thompson
Well Capt Rich just to let you know we notified NCIS (yes they are real) about your proposed “no risk to us” venture and they will be investigating it. We are certain the $10,570,000.00 in U.S. currency that you have hiding under your bunk in the green zone belongs to the fine people of Iraq and they would very much appreciate its return.
Members of the USMC do not enjoy diplomatic immunity or any special privileges in Iraq and therefor we believe we have spotted a major flaw in your plan. Diplomatic curriers would not deal with an officer in the USMC unless he or she is attached to an embassy as a diplomatic attache. As this is not what you indicated in your email it is bothersome to us that the diplomatic services are dealing with a Captain in the Corps. We wont even get to the fact that the USMC does not list any active Attaches in Iraq at present.
We are worried about the fact that the First Armored Division (Old Ironsides) is not part of the Marine Corps but rather the Army. The Old Breed (USMC 1st Marine Division) is comprised of : Headquarters Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 5th Marine Regiment, 7th Marine Regiment, 11th Marine Regiment, 1st Combat Engineer Battalion, 1st Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion, 1st Reconnaissance Battalion, 1st Tank Battalion, 3rd Assault Amphibian Battalion, 3rd Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion. I hope your not Army, because representing yourself as a Marine would be bad and NCIS will want to talk to you about that as well as the defrauding of the Iraqi people.
Your English also lacks something befitting an officer in any of the armed services, and an officer would never identify themselves as a soldier. Also the incorrect language and fractured tenses in the message seem to indicate an individual with only a rudimentary understanding of English sentence structure.
You referenced in your message also that “We want to move this money to you, so that you may keep our share for us till when we will come over to meet you in your country.” A member of the USMC would never fail to identify the United States of America as anything but their proud homeland and the proper expression is “Our country”.
We begin to thinks that you may not be one of our fine uniformed men (or women) serving in Iraq, and are rather an unscrupulous ass clown trying to cypher money from IBW Publications Inc. How dare you you butt monkey. Good thing we did report the actions to NCIS first, they can deal with your impersonation of a Marine Corps Officer.
thank you and good day